* In November 1988, a born entertainer was birthed in to existence; they are still extremely obscure & unknown.

* Scorpio Dragon; find me also on Insta: @thewildwillbill & @retrotechgurl.

* Former main accounts: dinosaurorgy & alienamiss; cannot get in to them -- am using this,a very old art account while I wait for 'signup' process to be solved by the site owner.

"Running Down a Dream" -- Tom Petty
"What They Say" - Mind Over Matter/Bliss n' Eso
"A Criminal Mind" - Gowan
"Wear Your Love Like Heaven" - Donovan

I chased sleep all morning. I woke up at the horribly early hour of 2 AM, after passing out at 10 PM (see?? Going to bed early isn't good for me!!); I went back to sleep at 5 AM - 7 AM; tried to go back to sleep, 10 AM-12 PM. This is the most sleep I've gotten in a week, and I still feel like shit.

I'm having tea, but I know the tea won't touch this fatigue. Nothing lifts it. My YT episode from last night shows my fatigue a little. I've looked more tired before, but I can tell I'm not awake enough to film longer bits yet. I barely managed to film THAT in one good take. You can see it in my face: it's not as expressive.

Maybe the reason I had such a lack of expressions in my youth had to do with how tired my periods made me for 1/2 the month? I have a monotone, and usually people like that also have no expressions 90% of the time. I've since conquered inflection a little. I still can't say most of the foreign-language stuff I'd tried learning. My somewhat-remaining lack of inflection makes things like French hard -- Russian accent is easier, but I've never learned the actual language.

This extra 10 lbs on me is making me look 8mo pregnant. Hard to pass as male, unless one counts it as looking like a beer belly?

Speaking of pregnancy; my gyno appointment to discuss tubes-tying goes down on April 1 -- April Fool's. I hope they don't try to "punk" me.. ahahaa.. I just need this done. As a mentally ill 30-year old.. I'm not even ready for a whoopsie-baby. I want permanent assurance of infertility. I have to wait until 35 for a hysterectomy. That's 5 years of my libido increasing as i age.. not cool. Condoms are good, BC is my mood med.. tubes tied would be my assurance.

My entire family thinks I'm right about getting this done -- they don't see me as the motherly type. I've been childless up until 30 with precautious natures.. but say I'm on an antibiotic, or get allergic to condoms again? (I had 2 years of that, in my early 20s.. sketchy period...) I think none of them actually wanna raise a fresh baby, either. My sister was a teen mom; her son is broaching 9 -- she's too busy working 2 jobs to take over a baby. My yoga aunt is a close runner up in choice.. but she's verging on 60 -- yes, she looks closer to 30, but, she's almost 60 nonetheless.

My shrink suggested the shot; the shot triggers endometriosis in my lineage. She suggested the Merina insert -- that just sounds revolting, a little gadget in my woo-hoo? Let's tie my tubes instead, so I don't forget in 3-5 years to replace the gadget. It's my best option.

I love how this entry started with sleep issues, and ADD-jumped in to discussing my issues with kidlets. I'd say motherhood and housewife life is a combo of Top 3 level phobias.

My mom and sister were single moms -- I don't have that kind of strength about me. I want permanent assurance this is the way my life will stay -- spinster, with a chance of dating. Never marriage; marriage joins the other 2 as the Top 3 phobia list. My dad is on Wife #3 -- I'm from Wife #1. My sister is in her first divorce, and the poor gal's only gunna be 28 this upcoming year.

You can imagine I'm a kickass girlfriend, except I won't accept living with a guy/girl, marriage, or kids. It makes a lot of people less interested.. but that's fine. I also enjoy how my short hair turns men off, and my fatness (165lbs on a 5'3" frame), too. I don't need to attract workoutaholics and vain men. They get annoying about the weight gains, and the amount I smoke. It's not my BF's business to tell me what my vices get to be, since most of them have been harder-drug addicts or alcohol fans. Lyke.. srsly? My ciggies are less an issue than coke, dude. Get over yourself. :/

Anyhoo.. this seems long enough. We'll write a new one, if imagination/thoughts persist wanting to be written.